From time to time, I highlight an adult book that can help us nurture our children. Today’s feature isn’t specifically related to literacy, but it definitely strengthens literacy development and so much more.
We all want our children to be successful in life. Success is so much more than intelligence. Character is equally, if not more important. So, how does a child become successful in life? I just finished a brand new book that I wanted to share with all parents and educators. It’s called How Children Succeed by Paul Tough.
Tough is a writer and author who also contributes to the public-radio program This American Life. He interviewed researchers in neuroscience, economics and psychology for this new book. He found that character skills such as grit, curiosity, conscientiousness, and optimism play a huge role in shaping a successful person.
Here are a few things that I found very interesting from reading How Children Succeed.
- Researchers looked at the number of stressors in a person’s life and found that if someone had four or more stressors (abuse, neglect, incarcerated parent, divorce, etc.), then they had over a 50% chance of experiencing a learning or behavior issue. Children who grow up in stressful environments have a much harder time paying attention, sitting still, following directions and overcoming obstacles.
- “When you’re overwhelmed by uncontrollable impulses and distracted by negative feelings, it’s hard to learn the alphabet.”
- Parents who develop nurturing relationships with their kids help to develop resiliency. Early attachment in life (the first year) between mother and child produces a strong psychological benefit that lasts a lifetime.
- Seven character skills were found to have a huge impact on how successful a person will be. They are grit, self-control, zest, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism and curiosity.
The book is full of fascinating studies that illustrate Tough’s findings. Many of the studies looked at children who grew up in poverty. I wasn’t surprised by anything I read, but rather validated in many of my beliefs about nurturing children. If you are looking for an interesting read, this is one book that you will want to check out.
So now, the conversation continues. How do we nurture character development with our children? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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Carolyn Wilhelm says
Oh, important information that is helpful and practical! Thank you so much. Carolyn
Ness @ One Perfect Day says
This sounds like an interesting read. Those seven character skills are things I think as parents we all hope to foster in our children. Thanks for linking up to the Sunday Parenting Party.
Tricia says
I believe there is one thing that is helpful in developing every one of these character skills. That is setting an example as a parent. As we see very quickly with young children, they mimic adult behavior before they respond to what they are told. Of course there are other ways to reinforce these skills but it’s always important to keep in mind that they continue to observe their parent’s behavior no matter what their age.
Laura Mueller says
So glad you highlighted this book! Paul Tough spoke at a free symposium at Washington University a couple of weeks ago and my dad and I had a chance to hear him. The 7 character traits of successful people were the biggest points I took from him.
Our family is now working on GRIT. After hearing him, I realized how frequently I swoop in to help my 6 and 4 year old daughters. We talk about having grit both in and out of difficult situations now and point out when someone is digging in and showing it.
The SELF-CONTROL is something our children have in spades and the biggest reason, I believe, is because we don’t punish or reward our children with stuff. We set expectations, show empathy, and give special time to them, so they are less likely to misbehave. Their behavior is not driven by fear that they are going to get in trouble or desire to get something – it is SELF-motivated.
For more information on parenting without rewards or punishment, check out ahaparenting.com.
Particularly: http://www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=54793&A=SearchResult&SearchID=5179503&ObjectID=54793&ObjectType=55
Glad you brought this book to the attention of your readers!
Jodie says
Oh Laura, I wanted to hear him speak, but couldn’t arrange childcare. I’m so glad you went to hear him. I can’t wait to hear more from you. We are working on the self-control one in our house! I’m hoping to do a series on books with characters who show each of these skills in the upcoming year. Let me know if you have any book ideas! Thanks so much for posting. You made some great points and offered a great suggestion.